What in Cher’s name is a Tuesday 200?
How to Get Back in the Pool
1. Stroll through the indoor pool viewing area after spin class and think, you should start swimming again.
2. Do that again, a couple weeks later.
3. Breathe in the pool air, smell the chlorine, remember the time your scary swim teacher Kurt pushed your head underwater—you cried to your mom it was attempted drowning.
4. Tell yourself that’s nonsense and, besides, it happened 50 years ago.
5. Go to the next spin class and, afterwards, avoid the pool area.
6. Walk home along the beach, dip your feet in the water.
7. Jump back out because Jesus that’s fucking cold—remember you’re not meant for the Wim Hoff experience.
8. Read every “return to swimming” article Google serves, realize you’re so far down a rabbit hole you might never come up for air.
9. Weeks later, devise a plan to get in the water, even if it’s only for one length.
10. Stand at the pool’s edge, the chlorine reminding you that once upon a time you won a free-style race, hear that pesky inside-your-head voice (sounds like Kurt) say “you look like a fucking hippo” and think, maybe next week.
This one made me chuckle. I didn't last long in swim class when I was young. I eventually learned (somewhat) on my own, but I'm still not great. I can't even float correctly.
Maybe next week, champion